the very first thing i did when i remembered it was my birthday this morning was tweet dan

the very first thing i did when i remembered it was my birthday this morning was tweet dan

Anonymous:  i feel like ur janis ian and dan is regina george. srsly.

omfg

slimegrl:  I asked dan about you and he looked kind of embarrassed and said 'its all in the past' sorry I couldn't do anything else a girl behind me started calling me a bitch for talking to him for too long

omfG i kind of feel bad now but wow thanks for mentioning me

Anonymous:  Why does Dan hate you?

well, you see, back when i was part of his string of lovers, he used to buy me things everyday. clothes, flowers, rings, you name it, he bought it. he might have been in love with me. but then there was that fateful day when he brought chris to his house while i was there raiding his fridge. and dont get me wrong, chris aint innocent, chris has his girls too. but how could i resist that sweet smile and sarcastic sense of humor. dan has always been resentful of chris. so dan started a youtube channel, to gain followers and support. nobody ever sees the blatant meaning behind the fact that he calls this internet support group his “cult”. you see all that crap about llamas and placentas and justin bieber? its all a trap. hes turning you all into a mob. and army. and when the time is right, he will activate the little chip in your memories, and you will obey his every will and he will hunt me down and take over the world. im here to warn you. get out. save yourself. more importantly, save me, because i wont be able to take on 200,000 fan girls even if i do have a wall full of pictures of hot men

reasons why i should not have photobooth

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danisnotonfire:  neither me or phil have ANY problem with fanfics/pictures/underwear in the post or anything but -context-. when people stalk into our past to spread misinformation about us behind our backs, what's to stop people from thinking is completely serious and true? you see why this is what we have a problem with? unfortunately for you lot, phan isn't real, and it's sad that when the internet ruins our day, it isn't 'haters' its our 'fans' that our totally crossing the line. could you please delete them

i cannot control a post i made 9 months ago. the source post can be deleted, but the hundreds of people who reblogged it, it will not be deleted on theirs. i have not posted about that since then. i never said phan was real. i dont even ship phan. i have quite clearly stated that i dont ship phan. i havent shipped phan in a very long time. im really sorry that a post i made 9 months ago when i was young and naive and didnt know any better has managed to ruin your day. and to everyone else, just dont take screenshots and post them, okay? context is everything. secondly, if somebody could find the post that hes talking about and link it to me so i can delete it, because ive tried and i cant find it. that would be wonderful. sorry that this has caused a problem Dan.

Anonymous:  I don't get how Dan hates you....? Can you say it simply?

you could just go like way back in the tag but fine i’ll explain the whole thing in one paragraph with links. so whey it all started off one afternoon when i had posted some screencaps from dan and phils (now private) dailybooths where they were all being lovey dovey to each other as internet friends do (yes they met through the internet). I was telling people how phan was totally real because i shipped phan back then but then i got this message from dan telling me to stop. Directly after that terrifying message (which he replied to my apologies btw) he found out that i had given a link to his personal facebook to one of my friends on here. i didnt think that was a big deal since its all privatized anyway but apparently it was. A while later i found some pictures from Summer in the City 2010 in which he had his hobbit hair. i got this reply from him first, which i pretty much ignored, so then i got this message from him telling me to delete the pictures. i deleted the pictures but then SOMEHOW he found this post. i think the latest thing that would make him hate me was this message i sent to him. yes i am aware that he does not actually hate me, i know that because i do good things inbetween to even it out. everything else in my reasons why dan hates me tag are reasons why dan should hate me. AND THAT IS WHY DAN HATES ME

Anonymous:  what pictures though? :o

first time it was screenshots between him and phil on his old dailybooth, second time it was pictures from summer in the city 2010 that he “hates”

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